SURPRISED BY LOVE

SURPRISED BY LOVE

Kiko Okada

Kiko

True love caught me by surprise about 40 years ago.

My husband was one of the sweetest men you could ever hope to meet. We loved each other deeply. He seemed to love everything about me, I appreciated him so much – and I was also exasperated with him.

I didn’t really understand ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, in those days. All I knew was that I was constantly picking up after this man. I didn’t want to fall into nagging, but no amount of gentle or logical requests, reminders or pleas seemed to make any difference. I even brought a 30-gallon trash can into the house and put it right under the lip of the kitchen counter. After he took his pizza out, surely he could just sweep the box in? Instead, I was the one that threw the rubbish into the can and continued to pick up after him.

He liked a tidy home, but not enough to maintain it. Even back then, I felt that sharing a space with anyone meant finding compromises to work out differences in lifestyles. Expecting him to meet my standards of neatness just because I liked to squeeze toothpaste tubes and roll them up from the bottom was stepping further into all those shades of gray leading to “my way or the highway.”

In trying so hard to find a way to wrap our differences in a box of harmony and tie it up with a pretty bow, I kept tripping over my own beliefs and habits, my own emotional attachments, my own needs for control.

As I was driving my son to pre-school on my way to work one morning, my frustration spilled out in a rush of I’m so tired of’s  and Why can’t he’s?

This was not the first time I had inappropriately crossed boundaries, complaining out loud in front of Sandor about his step-father. He had always showed an uncanny ability to know what not to say in front of different people no matter the context, so he was never the child who blurted anything out to the embarrassment of children or adults around him. More than that, he was always able to see a person’s strengths, no matter how they appeared.

What I heard from him this morning was a very quiet, short sigh, barely audible over the roar of the engine. My over-sensitivity picked it up and triggered my need to defend myself.

“Well,” I reasoned, “if somebody loves you a lot, and could do a small thing that would mean so much to you, you would think they could just do it.”

He looked back at me and said, in his simple and gentle way, “Mom, if somebody loves you, they don’t have to love you the way you want them to love you.”

His clear and quiet way was not telling me how I should be. Somehow, he cut past all the talk, all the conflicts and confusion inside me. He was showing me the way to being who I really am by being his own Pure Heart.

Another part of my True Self woke up that morning as I caught a glimpse of this beautiful boy’s Inner Compass that guided his relationship to every other living being.

  1975.Sandor

Sandor – age 5

MUSINGS OF A LIGHTWORKER SOUL SISTER – “My Experiences With the Ascension Energy”

MUSINGS OF A LIGHTWORKER SOUL SISTER

“My Experiences With The Ascension Energy”

KikoKiko Okada

Kiko and I grew up metaphysically within the same Winston-Salem, North Carolina community.  We also worked together as Rehabilitation Counselors for several years.  After I moved to Virginia, Kiko bought land in the foothills along the border of North Carolina and Virginia.  She lived in a trailer with no running water or electricity while she, herself, built her home from a kit, paying for the supplies in cash.  Kiko continued to work while building her home on the weekends.

Kiko's home

Kiko's home 3

Around this same time span, Kiko’s 21 year old beloved son drowned when a dam was opened without prior warning.  (See Note Below before proceeding)  Years later, Kiko returned to her native home in Hawaii to care for her elderly mother, who has since returned to spirit.

I share a little of Kiko’s life, so readers can benefit from seeing how much one’s approach to life determines how it will unfold.  Her story provides background for her musings about December 21, 2012 and ascension.

I received the e-mail below on January 8, 2013.  May all readers be as touched as I was to read Kiko’s beautiful musings.

Aloha, Nancy!

Thank you so much for the link leading me to Steve Beckow’s interview today with Ascended Master Sanat Kumara. I found this conversation to be quite rich and especially confirming for me. Interestingly, this is what I had written just the night before, trying to express my experiences of December:

I love these times! Every day has been palpably lovelier than the one preceding for quite some time! The 12th and 21st weren’t eye-popping on the “obvious” level for me–yet (my words are clumsy here in trying to express what I feel) it felt like some very strong things happened at a more fundamental level. It was much like upgrading every bit of the “materials” we use to “build” things so our creations (including our life events, abilities, energy, etc) would go deeper, take us further. I feel like while we’re not seeing so many outward results, we’re also not realizing the tremendous upgrade in the quality of particles that make up our world now, and all of us on it. It feels like this is a time to LEARN/REMEMBER how to work with upgraded “materials”–and as we learn, as we use our upgraded materials and abilities, along with the constantly rising energies, we’ll be soaring “upwards.”

Maybe a better analogy is that we’ve been given computers for the first time in our 3D world, and as we learn/remember how to use them, the possibilities open up tremendously. Many people are looking for the next level of creations to appear, not understanding that those boxy things in their homes are not the same old implements and machines, but these new innovations called computers–and as we learn/remember how to use them, incredible worlds become accessible. I feel we’re constantly being called to be empowered, to constantly recognize the shifts from the more obvious level to the most subtle, and constantly upgrade our way of relating to our shifting world. I feel that I must constantly change and be willing to let go and evolve even my most basic spiritual practices, if guided to–that the upper dimensions are not tied to “if I do this, then that will happen” in quite the same way as almost all my approaches to life so far.

I believe we’ve been very close to huge transformations many times already–and although the delays are inconveniences on an ego level, I deeply feel they’re allowing deeper and essential changes, gifts that will benefit us all far beyond the little annoyances.

Many of us seem to still believe our Allies hold the huge majority of the cards because we STILL don’t fully understand how much power WE have, and how our collective is still in flux. If I’m a Child of the Divine thinking I’m my personality and split into 7 billion other personalities here, might I not still have the same power (potential, anyway) as the Divine Father? So how does that all play out? I don’t know–and I can see that what I don’t know is a HUGE factor. Our Allies are working with us through our subconscious and the parts of us that are awakened. When I really feel and follow that down deep, I can see what a complex terrain that is.

I was given this a couple of weeks ago: We are all facing east, waiting for the sunrise. We know in our bones that the sun will rise, no matter how dark the sky is now, and no matter what the weather is looking like. If anyone tried to shake that belief, those words would roll off us, we would hardly give them any attention. The sky is slowly getting lighter, and we can at first barely make out the landscape spread out before us. As it gets lighter, little bits of color show up here and there. Faster and faster, the sky lightens and the colors blaze across the horizon–and just as we knew it would happen, the sun rises as our hearts fill with wonder and awe. An hour later, it’s “old hat,” and we’ve moved on to our day; we’ve fully integrated the sunrise and this new day into our beings.

At no time in the process are we focusing on the still-dark skies wondering if the sun will rise. When the first colors appear, we revel in them; each bit is beautiful. We’re not complaining and anxious about there not being enough color to ensure the sunrise. We’re so sure the sun will rise that all our energies are in full enjoyment of the process. In fact, part of us may be wanting the sunrise to slow down a bit so we could enjoy the show longer!!!

This is how I’m increasingly finding myself rooted in our Ascension process.

I’m finding myself enjoying each day this way. I know I’m being well cared for by the process that guided me to leave my j-o-b nine months ago with no safety net visible. You know how what’s left of my only income (social security) after I’ve paid my small rent each month is less than $100 for every other regular living expense. Funds have not only miraculously appeared these nine months, but I feel increasing freedom with each week as my inner freedom expands. This alone tells me the 3D rules are fading fast!

So, Nancy–here we are, watching the sunrise with great anticipation and now, even greater joy that everyone else is on board with us!

I am SO overjoyed that everyone is coming!!! I’ve actually in the past month told just about everyone I talk Ascension with that I understood that everyone was coming, except for a few that flat out refused (and those would be well-cared-for and well-guided until they joined us). At that time, I felt very willing to slow my pace if it meant many more would be able to come along. So I’m surprised that Raj/Sanat Kumara said it was just a tiny possibility.

I also totally understand why all energies were focused on the mounting anticipation of our direction. I mean, when we’re cheering our team in an athletic competition and it’s pushing towards the goal, or when our runners are running down the track and nearing the finish line, we go ALL OUT in our cheering and screaming encouragement, and visualizing them meeting the goal. We’re not throwing in any, “hope you make it, because there’s a chance you won’t” — no, we focus FULL OUT. And through eons of any disappointment I’ve felt (and you’ve known me through several especially hard ones), it seems that I’ve learned that what we’ve gained is much more significantly measured by our internal evolution rather than our outer world feedback. Our creations come from our minds, after all.

I believe that we’re coming into fuller realization and confidence of who we really are when we can let go of needing outer world confirmation–and this is a challenge for us since we’ve come through eons of 3D experience!

This past month, the outer didn’t give most of us the dramatic markers we hoped for–and to insist we must have them or we can’t go on is to make the outer world confirmation of who we are more important than the reality. I think the more subtle inner shifts are more important, are things most of us haven’t been aware enough to pay attention to or even perceive. By habit, we’re still looking for more obvious markers.

The only analogy I can think of right now (and it’s a rough analogy!) is the difference between pounding out the more exposed “Stars and Stripes Forever” on the piano–and offering the more abstract and delicate “Moonlight Sonata.” At an earlier stage in our development, we resonate and recognize the more obvious. Yet what truly endures and carries us much further is the ability to know and feel transported and fulfilled with the sublime.

I believe we’ll all come through our disappointment just fine. Many are just needing some time to adjust to the next level, become more aware of the real shifts we’ve made–and continue co-creating and pulling our collective forward.

I probably wouldn’t have been aware of this new interview, and listening to it was perfectly timed for me because of your message!

As always, much appreciation and love,

Kiko

NOTE BY KIKO:   People’s usual automatic and empathetic reaction to knowing I lost my only child is to focus on me and what they see as my tragic loss. While loving and appropriate in most cases, this turns the energy inward into the usual emotions and thoughts around great loss and away from the transmutation that occurred. My journey and the Divine Assistance that’s always with me transformed this event into a major springboard and Divine Gift for who I am now. It was my full and authentic embracing of his drowning, even in the middle of searing grief, that was the catalyst for releasing vital blessings. Many subconscious resistances were also released from ever again blocking me or clouding my perspective. By that time in my life 21 years ago, I knew with every fiber of my being that the Divine loved me so much that every part of my path, whether I understood it at the moment, was purely a blessing. Embracing and staying open was the key to opening the floodgates. (My son drowned a couple of years before I started building the dome–the process was, for me, a rebuilding of my life, from the ground and foundation up.)

%d bloggers like this: