ARE YOU REPRESSING YOUR INTUITIVE KNOWING
OR QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID?
A MINISTER’S STORY[i]
“However, knowledge of the Ascension process is not necessary to be assured of rising up with it. There are many, many souls that are kind, loving and compassionate who are also ready for such an upliftment. In fact they may have quite a different view of the future, but that does not matter as they will soon adapt to the coming changes.” [iii]
This is the part from SaLuSa’s message that touched my heart the most. I have often said that there are people out there who name no faith, religion or God, but practice and embody Light, Love and Universal Embrace more and better than those that do! I think THAT was the first “revelation” I had once I broke from formalized religion in 1985. I met so many loving and sincere people.
Of course Christianity would always retort back “Ah, but they are *sincerely* wrong!”
It took many years for me to completely erase the damnable heresy of Orthodox Christianity that separated the human race into two distinct groups: the obedient and disobedient; the saved and the lost; the righteous and the unrighteous. This same practice has been copied and utilized countless times throughout the world: black and white; male and female; gay and straight.
No small wonder the human race is so fractured! We have done this to ourselves, all the while knowing full well that “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” A human being—divided from his/her Divinity—cannot stand either!
Growing up in an extremely artistic and musical family, I was exposed to many kinds of people, especially Gay and Jewish. The folks who came to our home for music instruction were amazingly broad-minded and genuinely interesting, lovely people. I tasted my first Kosher brisket from a dear Mrs. Keller who lovingly cooked it for us at Christmastime. Mr. Henssler was a gentle “homosexual” gentleman that was considerate, kind to a fault and gentle. My tumultuous childhood was filled with memories of these thoughtful people.
It was ONLY after I went to Bible College that I immediately was informed that these people were, lost, sinful, wayward, unregenerate, and reprobate. The very people I had admired, respected and loved were immediately put on my “must convert” list. I stopped seeing them as the wonderful God-created and indwelt souls that they were, and exchanged the truth for a lie (as Paul said in Romans 1), seeking only to love them IF they became as I was. If they didn’t, they would burn forever. HOW SAD! HOW PATHETIC! HOW FALSE!
Three of my favorite people in this life are Jewish. One, my chiropractor of 27 years; second, my partner’s Psychologist/Social Worker; and third, a piano student. These three created gems have demonstrated tolerance, inclusiveness, mercy, justice, love, giving, acceptance BETTER than I ever have!
Two of my other favorite people in life are myself and my partner, both Gay. We have also learned that we are wonderful human beings, indwelt with Divine Spark and connected to The Almighty Source.
Thank God that what I believed out of ignorance concerning their souls and mine is not true.
On July 9,1975, while in my second year of Music Conservatory, I had an experience of walking out of a Bible Study hosted by one of my student-friends. Nothing seemed different or unusual about this study, and in fact, I left it thinking that I would most likely not attend another.
As I made my way onto the city street, I had a most unusual experience of “seeing” the world in a way that I had never seen it before. Everything simply appeared different. I felt alive in a way that I had never experienced. What had happened was “mystical.” I was loved and connected to The Universe…. and I KNEW it!
I got back to my home and stayed up the entire night, reading the four Gospels of the New Testament. Words leaped off the page and into my soul—I was loved in a way that absolutely was for all times!
In the next couple of weeks I decided to not return to Conservatory and instead complete a degree at a Bible College about two hours from my hometown. I was so full of joy, newness, love for everyone and felt an eternal connection with God and myself. I thought that going to a school that taught about God was going to be the next step in this magnificent life that I was enjoying. THAT was NOT to be the case!
As I started my new path seeking to understand what this new life was inside of me, the initial joy of that sultry Summer night leaving the Bible Study faded into confusion, doubt, guilt, fear, delusion, judgment, suspicion, exclusivity and yes… even hatred.
You see, the combined efforts of professors and probably well-meaning fellow students Indoctrinated me into a codified understanding that what had happened to me was known as being born again, and that Jesus had saved me from my sin.
They now would teach me what that means, who God is and who I BETTER be! My school would say “this is not RELIGION, but RELATIONSHIP!” I was to regret that I made their ideas of “relationship” mine for the years that followed!
Well… after one month into my courses in Old Testament, New Testament, Christology, Systematic Theology, Soteriology, Hamartiology, Greek, Church History, Synoptic Gospels and Eschatology, the simple joy and awareness of my new birth became a laundry list that could be broken into minute pieces so that it could be understood, digested, and then regurgitated in what was known as sharing the Good News.
My first rude awakening that my experience of that Summer’s night could not and should not be defined or understood on my own, came mid-term first semester when I received D minus grades on two well researched and thoughtfully prepared papers that “did not conform to the School’s Doctrinal Statement.”
*I thought the end goal of education was to learn and think deductively for myself?* I guess not!
The President of my College remarked that “Satan seeks to devour all Christians by tossing them about by every wind of doctrine.”
To think for oneself was actually opening the door of the mind to “this Nefarious Adversary.”
The first fears crept into my being that mid-October. Reaching conclusions on my own that were contrary to my Evangelical College’s God-breathed Right vs Wrong List was to turn my back on God Himself and give my soul to destruction! YIKES!….
What I was to do in the remaining years was to simply “parrot back” by memorizing everything that the School taught. I graduated with highest honors in 1977, a BA in Theology in hand—able to defend all doctrinal positions concerning Christendom and assured that what I had been taught was correct, un-challengeable and complete—nothing more to add!
Years followed working as a Missionary, a Christian Teacher as well as numerous positions in churches as Music Director. Those were years of “putting my education to work.” I zealously threw myself into “propagation of the Gospel” as I rigorously and with great relish wielded my sword against all who dare question The Truth as it had been handed me.
Actually, I NEVER felt on “Solid Rock” when I did that; but fear of NOT doing as I was taught forced continuation down a path that put God “way up there” and “me down here,” and frankly “never the twain shall meet” until “Glory.”
Once, when I started to scholastically question certain doctrines, a dear brother-in-Christ, an “Elder”, remarked, “The problem with you is that you are too much of an individual; and in Christianity THERE IS NO ROOM FOR INDIVIDUALITY!”…. so… by 1985, I was basically done with all of it- God, Jesus, The Church, Theology.
I spent several years away from formalized Christianity, discovering many things about myself, other people, the world. The bondage of the earlier years had become like a corset tightly laced squeezing the very life from me!
I KNEW that I was more than what had been taught me—— and in the years to come, through “many infallible proofs,” the *questioning soul that I am*was rewarded with countless and undeniable experiences that drew me back to that night in July 1975.
On that night, the scales fell from my eyes to actually reveal to me—not that I was somehow dirty, unworthy, and in need of salvation from my sin (as many would tell me was so in the weeks, months, and years to come)—but rather that I WAS the very essence of God already! I simply had forgotten it!
That is why the sheer wonder and glory of those initial days and weeks after that July evening were so outrageously happy and wonderful; I simply WAS–knowing that I WAS of God. I was IN God and God was IN me. We were inseparable in being and Essence.
“… I will put My Law in their inward parts and write it in their hearts; and will be their God and they my people. And they shall teach no one anymore saying ‘Know the LORD,’ for they shall all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them” (Jeremiah 31:33-34)
Within weeks, that amazing, liberty-producing knowledge had been turned into a sword of vengeance that was to divide me from my loving, empowered Godhood into a “cringing, fearful slave” reduced to mortality, ever seeking forgiveness from a “personal God” that was holding my soul in the balance.
It has only been in the recent years, and even more so in these last months, that my Birthright of the Indwelling Kingdom of God has been reclaimed as my “inheritance.” I AM GOD! *
That is not blasphemous to say. Who I am IS the very essence of God, and to deny such is to call a liar the VERY ONE Who made it so! I am that I am… and that’s all that I am! Thank you Popeye for such sage words! You obviously grasped The Truth long before I did! Amen.
POSTSCRIPTS OF A JUBILANT HEART!
I am so comforted to know that all will ascend at some point. How totally un-Christian of us to believe such poppycock!-haha
To know that every star, every planet, every seraph, cherub and every other created being is working in tandem and unity to bring all of this about.
“My life right now feels as if I am in a sped-up-catch-up-mode! The accelerated pace of spiritual learning has been unlike anything that I have ever experienced before. It is the feeling of a “crash course” in the Cosmos!!!!!”
NOTE BY NANCY: Christians, this minister’s story is a great example of the joy that comes from opening your mind … searching for Truth … and remembering that Jesus taught, “The Truth will set you free!” It would be difficult to lead a more dedicated life than this minister has lived, yet—as you can see from his story—dedication is not enough.
During these last weeks leading up to Ascension, I encourage you to “Seek and you shall find” much joy, excitement, and peace in knowing beyond doubt that you are finding Truth. You will know when you find Truth … there will be no nagging “but what ifs?” You will REST IN TRUTH!
[i] My minister friend is presently employed as a Minister of Music, while also being qualified tp serve as a pastor. He has agreed to assist me anonymously in leading Christians to open their minds to asking questions and exploring outside the traditional Christian literature for answers to their questions that satisfy and bring a deep sense of joy into their lives.
[iii] SaLuSa, November 14, 2012.